2020: the year it all popped off
Ah, 2020. It seems like only a few months ago I was content with the challenge of moving to a new home, and considering a career in massage. And then a global pandemic settled upon the world like a thick weighted blanket. I went into the forest for a sacred retreat as it lingered on the fringes, and when I returned, the world began to shut down. I freaked out, struggle for a routine to cling to. I quickly overexercised myself into injury mode. Sense of fear went up and sense of freedom went down.
Things slowed down, and for the most part, simplified. Slowly, I found new normals. Virtual interaction became commonplace, dances became socially distant, and priorities shifted. I exercised with fervor, like movement would keep me strong enough to fight this mystery affliction. I balanced sheer panic, calorie restriction, mindful eating, eating only potatoes, and eating lots of meat.
Our second to last PTI retreat was well timed, and a new appreciation for stillness reminded me how simple life could be. From sitting in a hammock, to meditating in a field, I took tiny steps from the outside going within. I began to cherish the small moments, sending care packages, building things, and embracing my beautiful new home. I began to commit my life story to text, celebrating my growth and the bounty in my life. Through a consistent mastermind practice, I have stayed connected to things larger than myself, grounding in abundance and returning to the flow. I’ve even been fortunate enough to bring my wife into this inner child work, sharing our childhood wounds and seeing the children within each of us.
As the year rounds to its final months, I find myself time traveling in fear, to all the scary changes wrought upon my life in previous autumns. In my fullness, I remember that I can choose again, and return to my path. I am creating my destiny consciously, going forward with my own decisions and intentions, without fear of repeating my past patterns of habit.
Fuzz man was right, this year really popped off.