Soft and Weak
8 weeks post tummy tuck. Life is difficult to say the least. I’ve had a brief bit of normalcy, and even started running again. I began an elements animal movement plan that I am really enjoying, and even took a shot at some bodyweight progressions. I took a week of vacation and slow shifted off keto, upped the mileage, and got a little compulsive by the end.
I feel soft and weak. My belly is misshapen and foreign to me. I long to be lean, leaner than I ever was. I don’t know what drives me but I can’t shake it. I am consumed by thoughts of inadequacy, like my standards have fallen so far and I’m not living up to all these weird goalposts that I’ve erected over the years. I try to remind myself that success, progress, and goals….are not things that happen in a blip. Life is change, and those little changes over time make the human experience.
I’ve got therapy plans in place this week. Hopefully I can get some mental relief. I’ve been so disciplined for so long , I feel like I am letting myself down in so many ways.
It has also been enlightening to read my previous posts. I legitimately don’t remember writing alot of them, which has been fantastic, because my mindset at the time was that I wanted to get all of my little experiences and the things I’ve learned out onto a page before it was just memories. Which they are. I hope this period can become a good one as I transition. I hope I can make my life more about just working out, as great as it is. My body is only one asset in this life. I’m not sure I treat it as well as I think I do.